Play Hamish — Life Song
I want to escape.
I want to see the world as I’ve been told it is.
I want to know the true meaning of
Strife, the University and everything.
I look for spiritual awakenings
but can’t get past corporeal deaths.
I want precious little but my psychiatrist always tells me, in a tired way,
in a calm way, an ordered way, that some things are essentially unknowable.
The compulsion to search for them is unhealthy and the ultimate way to waste
a good mind.
I have obsessions
and no idea how to subvert them.
I’m not even sure that I want to—
no matter how unhealthy they are or how often they
waste my good mind.
I blame my parents
(my dad was in a psych ward, and my mum has regular hypnosis, so i don’t
know how i could expect to be sane),
my home
(it’s square, so it’s no surprise that i see in black and white),
my girlfriend
(she encourages it, so i have to watch her all the time),
my computer
(all that information for me, so i expect to know everything),
but never myself
(i'm all i know, how could i be flawed?).
I never, ever consider that I brought this plague
on myself.